Over the past two decades, we’ve seen seismic shifts in how we connect and relate to one another. The ubiquity of social media and our ability to constantly broadcast the highlights of our lives has in many ways made us more isolated and alone, despite being more “connected” than ever before.
The pandemic further exacerbated this problem of eroding real connections, forcing us into extended periods of physical isolation and making virtual interactions the default mode out of necessity. Even as restrictions lifted, for many, typical socialization patterns didn’t entirely resume. We had become accustomed to the ease and comfort of one-way parasocial connections with influencers, celebrities, or online personalities during lockdowns. Through their constant sharing, we learned intimate details about their lives, yet this was a fundamentally imbalanced dynamic without any true reciprocal relationship. I believe this began to color the virtual interaction we began having with “actual” friends, too.
Some theories for why pre-pandemic levels of in-person interaction struggled to bounce back include: Social anxiety and atrophied social skills after prolonged isolation made re-engaging face-to-face more psychologically daunting. The convenience of low-effort virtual consumption made in-person activities seem higher friction. And for some, the lack of enforced structure and routine meant old social habits didn’t re-establish themselves as easily. The lure of endless digital distraction following years of over-reliance on screens made investing effort into rebuilding real-life community a challenge as well.
This has led to what many have deemed an “epidemic of loneliness.” You may have hundreds of online friends or followers, but lack that deeper sense of understanding, acceptance and mutual vulnerability that comes with reciprocal relationships. We post cultivated glimpses of our life, yet feel increasingly isolated and disconnected. Societally, we’ve outsourced our relationships to apps, but without human touch, our connections have faltered.
So how can we combat this erosion of true interpersonal bonds?
In struggling relationships, this inability to truly see and be seen by the other person can be devastating. We become resentful that our friends don’t fully understand us based on the limited version we present online. In order to correct this we also need to make an effort to deeply know and empathize with our friends full authentic selves beyond a surface level.
On an individual level, it starts with being more present and intentional about fostering quality connections over quantity of impersonal ones. This means:
Setting boundaries around social media use
Scheduling real face-to-face time with friends and loved ones
Engaging in vulnerable sharing beyond what we broadcast publicly
Actively listening and seeking to understand others’ full selves
In relationships, it requires a wholehearted commitment to doing the hard work of building emotional intimacy. This could look like:
Weekly scheduled quality time to truly connect
Asking deeper questions and sharing appreciations
Expressing emotional needs directly rather than hoping they’ll be intuited
Finding ways to stay connected even when your schedule is overbooked
Not every relationship may be revivable despite our efforts as some have drifted too far apart. But for bonds with the potential for renewed closeness, it’s about choosing to prioritize depth and quality of connection. At our core, we all crave to feel genuinely seen, understood and accepted for who we truly are. In this age of constant virtual posturing, we paradoxically feel more alone than ever. The antidote is to proactively nurture presence and vulnerability in our most precious relationships. That’s how we’ll find true meaning and belonging.
The recent full moon eclipse in the sign of Libra provided a powerful cosmic lens for examining the reciprocity and equilibrium in our closest relationships. As the radiant moon slipped behind Earth’s shadow, we were called to shine light on the dynamics of our interpersonal connections. This is a process I’ve been intimate with since the summer of 2023 courtesy of the lengthy Venus retrograde. Under these astrological conditions, you likely have also been in a period of contemplating the vitality of your Friendships, too.
For many, the revelations this eclipsed moon has presented will not be easy to integrate. The past few years of navigating the pandemic, political turmoil, and heightened collective stress have strained even the strongest bonds. It’s been painful at times to witness the ripple effects of these challenges testing our relationships. I’m hard pressed to think of an important relationship of mine that wasn’t rearranged in some capacity by the events of the last few years. I have endeavoured to do the work required to mend these rifts wherever possible, but the fabric of friendship isn’t complete without both warp and weft. It takes two to tango as the saying goes. Therefore, what has ultimately been the task of my spiritual journey has been my acceptance has been to realize that reciprocity is the only way forward, quite literally.
There are multiple layers contributing to the shifts we may be experiencing. The “temporary” upending of our normal social outlets and face-to-face interactions created distance that only grew in some cases. Diverging viewpoints around contentious issues drove irreparable wedges. The weight of personal stresses and traumas continue to make it harder to show up fully present with one another. The colleague I lost to Qanon comes to mind frequently, especially at this time of year. The close relative who cut me off because of their anti-vax stance and positive only focus mindset enters my thoughts less and less often, but the pain of that loss will unfortunately always ache like a phantom limb. I wonder “what happened to our love?” thinking of how so many of my other relationships are languishing under the strain of these circumstances. However, I know full well what we’re all enduring in the U.S. has created a perpetual weariness that has eroded what little energy so many of us have for sustaining our connections.
Ultimately though, the full moon eclipse in Libra has been a journey of acceptance – realizing it’s OK for relational dynamics to change over time. Just as the cosmos is in constant flux, so too are the connections that shape our human experience. This doesn’t need to erase or diminish the profound memory of “the good times.” Rather, it highlights the importance of enjoying them to their fullest when they are happening and releasing with gratitude what has run its course. Last summer, in the midst of the Venus retrograde and a heartbreaking tragedy that was rocking my immediate family I received a difficult piece of information. Someone who was once very close to me told another friend that “She loves me, but she just can’t live up to my standards.” I was genuinely curious about what that could possibly mean considering for years I had dropped my standards through the floor just to keep this person in my life. One look at our call history and it would be plain for anyone to see that was not a reciprocal situation. It took months of personal healing and more than one close look, but eventually I came to understand the truth of the friendship. This was someone who only spoke about our relationship in terms of the far off future, but who would not relate with me day to day. I’ve concluded that life is what happens when you are living it and it is the people who share that journey with you while you’re on it are the ones who have the privilege of your presence in your elder years.
I am aware that until one can acknowledge a relationship’s transition or ending through the lens of appreciation for all that was shared – the joys, the growth, even the challenging moments – they can remain in a state of resistance. It’s only through accepting the complete cycle that we alchemize and find clarity to truly let go. For too long I was so angry at this woman for being reckless with our decades long relationship. I blamed her for being a really bad friend for years and if I’m honest, she wasn’t great. Ultimately, though, came to see I was really angry with myself. I had to take responsibility for continuing to be in this “friendship” that wasn’t meeting my basic standards (like returning my calls, for example) and see plainly that we weren’t actually relating at all. What I had to accept was that I violated my own boundaries. Time after time, I let her know that I wanted to stay in touch more regularly, but she wanted to be there “in case of emergency only.” Year after year, that dynamic never changed, but I continued to hold space (too much space) in my life for this person. In order to move on, I also had to forgive myself for not seeing the truth and for taking so much less than I deserved for so long.
During eclipses, it’s best to remain open and receptive instead of attempting ritualized spellwork. These potent cosmic events circumvent our usual perspectives, revealing new pathways we may have missed. Rather than rigidly controlling the powerful energies, allow the eclipse to organically introduce shifts and revelations. Avoid prescribing magical workings and instead create space for receiving fresh energies from the universe’s grand movements. Eclipses are times of profound recalibration where we must surrender limited interpretations to integrate broader cosmic transitions. This eclipse was the final debridement of the emotional wound surrounding my failed long-term friendship. It took months to sit with my raw emotion and allow the tears to slowly wash any confusion away. There were no cord-cutting rituals, no banishing ceremonies, there was no need. The healing formula here is just good old fashioned shadow work and the tireless effort of continuing to point myself in the direction of truth whenever cloying sentimentality threatens to distort truth. The illuminating rays of this full moon in Libra have shown me I have an accurate picture of the WHOLE story now. Now my work is to let the tender parts of my heart heal and regain their normal sensitivity after having been numbed out in a fog of denial for many years. I see my old friend making a new, more authentic life for herself and I love that for her. So much! It is my full moon wish that we can release our projections and expectations of one another joy-fully, be grateful for the good years, and move on freely. I look back on our shared past with fondness and let go.
In many ways, the strong medicine of eclipses is better integrated through trust and surrender. Allowing the light of new awareness to pour in, even when that radiance exposes the shadows we’d rather not see. By flowing with the rhythms of creation and destruction, we open to the blessings of redirected energy that might initially appear difficult but lead us towards necessary growth and release. Relationship shifts catalyzed by this eclipse season remind us that magical workings, especially protection rituals, don’t always manifest as expected. When we set intentions around boundaries, the universe sometimes answers by gently closing some doors and opening new, better aligned ones. Rather than resist, trust that these cosmic redirections honor your deepest desires. I believe that because I have cleared out the stagnant energy of a past relationship with someone who would rather possess our friendship in a symbolic way than relate to me as a living, breathing person I have made the necessary room for the deep connections and soul bonds I seek. I have faith that the benevolent universe is conspiring right now to bring me kindred spirits with whom I am to forge new friendships.
Hey there, gardening friends! Can you feel the change in the air? Spring is right around the corner, and that means the start of a new growing season is almost here. After winter’s cold dormancy, it’s time for nature to wake up and come alive again with renewed energy. I can practically hear Mother Nature stretching her limbs and preparing to wake the world anew!
This yearly cycle of rebirth is such an amazing thing to experience, isn’t it? The patterns of nature remind us that endings and new beginnings are all part of a continuous loop. Each spring, we get to witness the miracle of bare landscapes transforming into lush, blooming gardens once more.
For those of us who love getting our hands dirty in the garden, springtime is an exciting call to action. It is time once more to As the ground thaws and warms up, we can start prepping soil, planting fresh seeds, and nurturing new plant life through our efforts. There’s something really magical about facilitating that growth.
Speaking of magic, I’ve got an absolutely stellar opportunity brewing for you to level-up your green thumb this season. I’m offering a FREE 5-Day Moon Phase Gardening Masterclass to teach you how to align your planting and gardening to the lunar cycles. Each day, you’ll receive a lesson via email with video and PDF guides. Then on the 5th day, we’ll convene for a live Q&A to address all your burning questions! And let me tell you, I’ve got a VERY exciting announcement planned that you won’t want to miss.
Join my celestial gardening crew & discover the magic of celestially-aligned planting with this FREE 5-Day Moon Phase Gardening Masterclass Spring 2024.
Two Ways to Join:
FIRST Register HERE and then choose a LIVE session (you’re welcome to join both!):
Facebook Session: March 25th – 29th Join the GROUP
The changing seasons and cycles of nature are such a beautiful reminder of the rhythms that guide all life on this planet. As you prepare your garden beds and gather seeds for the new growing season, I encourage you to tune into those primal rhythms. Let the subtle cosmic patterns awaken your soul’s connection to this earth.
And what better way to sync up with nature’s grand choreography than by integrating the phases of the moon into your gardening practice? My FREE 5-Day Moon Phase Gardening Masterclass is a celebration of the sacred dance between the heavens and the earth. I can’t wait to share these teachings with you and initiate you into a whole new level of gardening mastery!
Here I sit on Brigid’s Eve in absolute astonishment that Yuletide is well and truly over, and the winter solstice was six weeks ago! Of course, the big astrological news is Pluto’s transit into Aquarius. I’ve been pouring over the ephemeris looking into what all of this portends for myself, as well as the collective. There are certainly significant shifts on the horizon, even if we can’t quite see them yet. As is my usual tradition, January is reserved for contemplation looking both backward and forwards through the arc of my life. I have found the practice of sifting through the experiences and emotions of the past twelve months cultivates the most fertile ground for a new cycle of intentions. I also try to clean and clear as much as possible in preparation for the Chinese, or Lunar New Year (the holiday falls on the second new moon after the winter solstice) which often coincides with the Imbolc portal. This is a time to settle debts, remove unwanted items and energies from our homes, and create space for welcoming a new cycle of growth into our lives.
These time-honored and cherished practices of mine are best undertaken in slow, steady fashion. Much like the last quarter of a lunar cycle, the winter months are for resting, assimilating, breaking down, or composting. ROOTS are to be tended to. There is such wisdom in these natural cycles. It never ceases to amaze me how elegant the esoteric systems are. By now, I think many people have divorced themselves from the colonized mind automaton process of overly ambitious, or impractical New Year’s Resolutions. The cold and dark month of January is not an ideal time for planting seeds in harsh environments. This is not to say that underneath the surface all is still. Future visions have been quietly incubating since the winter solstice waiting for the right conditions to take form. That time is drawing closer by the day, and quicker with each second of returning light. At Imbolc, I name and claim the seeds I will plant both in the kitchen garden and the garden of my life. I shower these seeds with blessing upon blessing and cultivate the ground they will be planted in come spring.
In practical terms, all of this looks a lot like housekeeping. To be sure, there is a fair amount of actual cleaning involved. For example, a full KonMari of household clothing is scheduled for this afternoon. I’m taking it room by room, bit by bit, but before the new moon in February on the 9th, my home will be cleared out of all unused and unwanted stuff. When I don’t have the energy for physical clearing, I unsubscribe from outdated emails I no longer wish to receive, or delete digital files that are burning up server space somewhere. The focus on energy clearing is just as important. For this I employ an old laptop I can set up anywhere that is loaded with hours and hours of sound-clearing tracks. I like to start breaking up stagnant energy this way before I clear with smoke, or asperge with water in a space that I am cleansing. I’m also clearing up cleaning routines using the techniques I teach in my course, House Magick, the members of the household have reset their responsibilities for keeping our shared space organized and optimized for our happiest and healthiest lives.
Onto the forgiveness of debts for self and others. When I was studying Feng Shui in the early 2000’s I was introduced to many foundational concepts that would shape so much of my life. One of them is the practice of settling debts before a new year begins. The flip side of this, of course, is relieving others of what is owed to you. Settling up is vital to a fresh start. Honestly assess where there are imbalances in your dealings, or relationships with others that need correcting and set about equalizing them. This is not limited to financial, or material transactions. Consider energetic exchanges with others, as well. Often a dialogue is all that is necessary to come to agreeable terms that will satisfy both parties. Sometimes the act of taking responsibility is all that is required for your debt to be lifted. If you find yourself in the position of being owed something consider all the costs of continuing to seek recompense. You may find they outweigh the benefits. No sense in continuing to throw good money (energy) after bad. Conversely, lifting the load feels quite jubilant for all. You can’t put a price on that!
As I write it is freakishly warm where I live for the last day in January. The Mercury is flirting with the upper 60’s. I hear the neighborhood kids next door playing basketball and look to confirm, yep ~ they’re barefoot and wearing shorts. As it happens, temperatures here do vary wildly so it’s not entirely unheard of that it can feel like a spring day in the dead of winter. It was -35 ten days ago, and it very well may be again in another ten. I could fret about the trees budding too early, and I might, but I will also gladly take the medicine of the lived experience of SPRING energy on Imbolc eve. I will drink it up and let it inspire me as I bless the seeds I wish to plant in the growing cycle of 2024.
I invite you to consider these ideas and incorporate them into your practice. The time of Imbolc is one of purification and innocence. It is also quite a tender time and special care should be taken when handling anything delicate. The year is in its infancy and I encourage you to treat yourself and your hopes and dreams with the same nurturing protection you would extend to a baby or small animal. Be gentle with others, too. February’s skies are full of movement. There will be many shifting gears for all of us to manage. You may already feel an abundance of airy energy coming in as a BIG stellium is teeing up in the sign of the water bearer. Prepare for a change of pace. Things are going to begin moving fast! I intend to lean all the way into the visionary and communal aspects of the Aquarian energies of the month ahead and I hope you’ll join me!
Visioning Your New Year
Gain spiritual insight into the new year. What does 2024 hold for you? Use this session to name and bless the metaphorical seeds you will plant in the growing cycle. Receive guidance around how to support your intentions magickally. I will utilize divination techniques, awareness of the 2024 astrological transits, and my claircognizance to formulate ritual suggestions, devotional practices, and specific spell and altar recommendations that are specifically designed for you and your unique intentions.
